If holidays were diseases, Christmas would be cancer -- a fast-spreading, deadly cancer that's taken over Thanksgiving, New Year's and about one-third of the year.

Here it is the beginning of autumn -- Halloween is still several weeks away -- and Christmas is already rearing its beastly head in stores and malls nationwide. If only for environmental reasons, we must find the courage to drive a stake through the heart of this evil monster. See why I hate Christmas, and why we must cancel Christmas now.

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